Friday, October 8, 2010

helpless...

but 
not
 hopeless.


Again...
I am at this place.
the place where my mama's heart just wants 
to fix it
to kiss it better
to be the one 
who takes care of it all...

but i  can't

there is not one thing I can do





my dear firstborn 

some of  you will remember this and then this

she is 16 weeks along in her (current) sweet 7 pregnancy 

her words from her blog last night:


Sweet 7 Update

How I am doing depends on which hour of which day you talk with me.   Most days,  I have a good stretch,  and then, a not so good time, too.  Some days are mostly good,   and very rarely (every few weeks or so!) I have a day that is all bad.   I am very thankful for this....not everyday is all bad.

Today I have been working with the boys and around the house,  finishing school and getting ready to (hopefully) go hunting this weekend.   As this afternoon wears on,  I am feeling the tensions increase,  since tomorrow is my 16 week check-up.  It's been 4 long weeks since I've heard Sweet 7's tiny heartbeat.

We last heard Benjamin's at our regular 15 week check-up.  3 weeks later,  there was none.   We have entered the window of loss for me,  and I am very frightened to walk into the Dr's office tomorrow.       Will I be broken,  or will this sweet baby live on, while we wait some more?

God's mercy is all we need.   Pray for it to pour down on us.


I know this pain, this fear, this moment of truth all too well.


I may be helpless
but there is ONE who is not.


What comfort.
What hope.
What peace.




these  words  were are  my anchor 


But I trust in you, O Lord
I say, "You are my (her) God
My (her) times are in your hands"
Psalm 31:9



We have put our HOPE in the living God.
1 Tim. 3:10



As for God, his way is perfect:
the word of the Lord is flawless
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in Him
for who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
2 Samuel 22:31, 32

So for now,
I wait
I pray
I hope


update:  she just called...all is well...today we rejoice

36 comments:

jAne said...

i'm crying as i agree in prayer.
may the precious Holy Spirit rest on your daughter's (and your) heart this day. may all He is be her all in all for this moment. may He bless her family. may this life continue - i pray this is His will. may you know the breadth and the depth of His amazing love and rest in the shelter of His wings.

such love that is His,
jAne

Tete said...

There are things you can do. You can love her. You can pray for her. You can be there when she has a hard time standing on her own. But most importantly, you lead her by your example.
The child belongs to God. Trust Him to take care of His own.
God allowed me to raise two, while He thought best to take two home with Him.
I know they are safe and I have all eternity to rock them when my walk here is done.

I found peace when I totally surrendered to His will and not mine.
I have no answers why. All I know is that He is in charge, He loves me, and He knows what all the tomorrows will bring.
Keep your eyes on Him, hang on tight to His hands, and praise Him all the way through this.
He's got your back and He's got hers, too.
Blessings- Tete

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

So happy to hear that. Wonderful news, thanks be to God!

-Danielle

Sandi said...

Oh Rene! Rejoicing with you that all is well and I pray with all my heart that it will continue to be so.
I have a second cousin who is a beautiful Christian girl (and a twin) who has lost several babies to miscarriage and she is due again in December. Her and her twin sister(has one child and another one on the way) were in a pretty bad car accident last week, but they were kept in hospital overnight and sent home so praying all continues to be well for them. After all she has gone through to keep this precious baby...and then to lose it now would be heartbreaking. So many people to pray for and their unborn precious treasures!!
Hugs~

Serendipity Woman said...

Yay, oh yay...your post has me weeping...but now all is well.
miss gracie...I am so praying for them and you and your hubby...without Jesus where would we be?????
I am going to go get my camera box and tell you about my camera in just a little while...It's not fancy, and so easy to use.
I don't know about iso or all the other things you asked me about.
more later...

God's blessings,
glenda

Rose ~Victorian Rose ~ said...

I feel the fear of the POSSIBILITY of your heartbreak too grandmother...I was holding my breath...SO VERY, VERY HAPPY that that news continues to be GOOD.

Tell her CONGRATULATIONS...and to take it easy. I do not think I would go hunting if I were her tho...JMOPO.


Rose

Rose ~Victorian Rose ~ said...

Rene'...I forgot to tell you...your IMAGES are breathtaking.

Rose

craftymarta said...

Rene, I haven't visit in a long time, just busy with life.I sat at the computer and read about your sweet daughter and my heart wanted to stop, thinking, imagining what she must be going thru. Such a relief with your last words. Her precious one is in God's hands, just like every one of us, and that fact offers us such comfort. I rather rest there than anywhere else. I will pray that the will of God will be done and that God will get you all thru this time, in peace, in hope, in faith. Be still and know: He is God. Blessings, Marta.

Amy Kinser said...

Oh My Goodness, my stomach was sick while reading this post and then I came to the last line. You have to tell a little more about the update. I am rejoicing with you!!!! Please share more of this praise!!!

FlowerLady said...

Oh my, what a lovely, hopeful post, and in the end it was a post of rejoicing. That makes my heart glad and my eyes fill with tears for all of you.

Thank you Jesus for your tender loving care.

FlowerLady

It's me said...

Thank God everything is alright yet !!! .......i am so glad for her....and you.....happy weekend darling love Ria.....

My Shabby Roses said...

Oh...I am so glad Rene. What a hard thing to go through. Wonderful scripture to hide in our hearts!
Big Hugs,
Debbie

Heirlooms For You said...

Praise God! Carol

vintage girl at heart said...

Thank The Lord!
I think of her often.. and pray for her too.
Blessings!

Sue said...

Helpless. . . that is how I feel in responding to your post. There are no words for something like this. It's just about faith, positivity, and praying for miracles! Thinking of you all! Love the pictures, although I have to say, they brought a few tears to my eyes.

Take care, Sue

podso said...

Beautiful, true words. Our only hope is in Him. I could not help but go over to your daughter's blog and read her glad words of today.

So thankful with you all.

debi said...

My heart sunk as I read this post....I am so happy to hear that your daughter is okay.
I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs

Linda said...

I am glad that they are okay...I will keep them in my prayers...XO

Pan said...

What a traumatic time. I hope all goes well. My best wishes to you all.

Adrienne said...

Understanding your heart and the desire to fix things for our dear ones. I've shared some of the same experiences with my children and can completely relate to your mother's heart longings. And praising the Lord for the good news!
~Adrienne~

A Cottage Muse said...

I love a happy ending!!! Enjoy your weekend!!

The French Bear said...

Thank you Lord.....I was worried, whew, a sigh of relief.
Hugs to you Mama.....I know you were worried!
Love the photos!
Hugs,
Margaret B

Hope Filled Living said...

Oh my goodness....you had me in tears till the end! So glad everything is ok! Whew!
Hugs.
Mary

Dorthe said...

Oh sweet, as I reached the end of your post, I just felt so reliefed,
for you, and for your daughter,--
thankyou--
Blessings, and hugs,
Dorthe

Anonymous said...

your blog is such a great place to stop in at. thanks so much for your uplifting honesty as you travel your road. it is very encouraging and uplifting. keep it up! blessings!

Tete said...

:)

Olivia said...

Oh sweetie, my heart is breaking! This is terrifying... I pray for God's will and comfort and peace....sigh, i hope truly everything is ok. God bless,
Olivia

just a little bit shabby said...

Rene,
this post struck terror in my heart but I am soooooooooo happy that the baby is ok. It must have been like being on the edge of the deepest ocean. Thank God for his mercy for the baby. My Mother miscarried my twin but carried me so I have always felt that I had some purpose on this earth. perhaps this baby 7 is meant to be here for a great reason, also.
God bless your little angel!!
Sandy

Sheilla ~ Style de Bohême said...

Blessed assurance! You have such a beautiful way of expressing God's love and promises! I'm so thankful and happy for you that all is well! ~Sheilla

Liz said...

PRAISE THE LORD!

Good news!

~Liz

Stitching n Shipping said...

I just found your blog and what a post to enter in on. God is Great and so loving and kind. Hugs to you and blessings to the unborn for a healthy journey to his/her mother's arms. Tammy

bigeyedchick said...

Rene, I was so relieved to read your added note that all is well. I will pray for you all that God continues to hold you in the palm of His hand.

Laurel <><

Southern Belle said...

Rejoicing with your update of good news. Sending those prayers coming for a healthy 9 months, mother and baby. Many blessings...

~~Deby said...

a little late in reading this, but as a mothe of adult children and a person who loves many--I share these thoughts, these concerns and these prayers with you...it is a continual way of life, it seems...some days lighter than others..but always filled with things that need to go to the THRONE...and I am thankful too for how God's WORD brings comfort, HIS HOLY SPIRIT gives relief and release and just thankful for grace and mercy for someone who doesn't deserve a ounce of it...me
((hugs))
Deby

Raspberries and Rose Petals said...

Rejoicing with you today, and praying for continued grace as your family continues to look to Him on your journey.

Hugs!
Lori

SALTBOX TREASURES said...

Glad all is well. I love the scripture in Psalms. It is always an encouragement.
~ Julie